If you ask most people to list their freedoms, they might tell you they are free to vote, to succeed, to make choices or to pursue happiness. I doubt they will say they are free to fail. And yet, without this freedom we can be paralyzed as artists, individuals and spirits. (One opposite fear, ironically, is the fear of success—but that’s another blog.)
Fear of failing is often drummed into us as children when some of us learn that failure can result in lack of acceptance and debilitating criticism. These “not okay” communications can come from parents, teachers or peers. They can be reinforced in adulthood. Overcoming negative messages is essential to doing and being what God intended us to be when He created us to fulfill our personal potential.
Have you ever heard the following: “Anyone who isn’t making mistakes isn’t doing anything”? Embedded in this phrase is the freedom to make mistakes. The fear of failure is chief among emotions that lead to the lack of successful living and a waste of talent. Franklin D. Roosevelt, in his first inaugural address on March 4, 1933—at the peak of the depression—made the famous statement: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” He knew that fear could paralyze an entire nation.
When I start a new writing project, I am sometimes afraid of failure, success, inability, etc. But if I stay paralyzed by fear, I will accomplish nothing. I tell myself, “You are apprehensive, but that alone can’t stop you. You are permitted to fail. Now get busy!” At that point, I can plant myself in front of the computer, take a risk and start writing.
Of course, the greater the risk taken, the greater the risk of failure. As it is, many people don’t take risks because fear dominates many of their decisions. Some writers stay within a comfortable genre, not only because they love it but because they can succeed with the familiar. To go outside the creative comfort zone and try something new requires ambitious goals and a willingness to take on diverse challenges. It can only be done with an understanding that we must accept the possibility of failure before we can succeed.
When I was involved in our local National Writer’s Association (NWA) meetings, a monthly prize was awarded to the person who had the most rejections for publication. He would receive an NWA mug in recognition of effort. The award was meant to teach us that when it comes to publishing, it is usually the one rejected the most who gets published the most. (I won so many times that I collected a considerable mug set. :-)) It taught me to stop fearing rejection and keep making the effort to get published.
Failure is an opportunity to improve. Failed experiments often lead to discoveries not on the agenda. (Scottish biologist Alexander Fleming, while trying to investigate staph, and as a result of sloppiness, found a strange fungus on a culture—a fungus that had killed off all other bacteria in the culture. With this serendipitous discovery, modern medicine was forever changed.) Failed writing is simply an opportunity to be a better wordsmith. It is a measure of strength that failure merely propels the writer into some new attempt to succeed.
Anyone who embraces the freedom to fail will strive on, learn new things, occasionally change direction and eventually reach his goals. The freedom to fail will be his friend.
“How much do I want it” is also a question for me, Betty. Thanks for including that statement.
I’m finally getting around to reading this. Good to hear your thoughts on this. I have had plenty of fears when starting something new but am pretty determined/stubborn and usually overcome my fears if it is something I really want or feel must be done. The question is always, how much do I want it.
Betty
Thank you, Chris. I was honored to have my work be a part of your dissertation. Congratulations on pushing forward regardless of setbacks and completing your Ph.D. in 2015. A job well done!!!
Laurel, I appreciate the failure blog. Thanks for being a part of my dissertation completed in 2015. So many failures occurred in the process of completing the science and art of my study. Looking forward to more blogs from you soon.
Thank you for the good wishes for 2016, Rebecca. I agree that success is sweeter when one must push through the “didn’t-make-its” to reach it.
Dear Laurel,
Thanks for your post on failure. All my didn’t-make-its made my successes all the sweeter. Wishing you a more successful than not 2016.
Delighted to find company with the issue of fear and freedom. I must tell you, Deb, that I had several compliments from people in the business on the “Sailing on Sand” photography. I loved it, and so did many others. It is good that you are going forward and risking the competition. Failure as a learning curve often leads to really successful results. Thank you, Marcia, for your kind comment on failure as process toward success.
Laurel, I absolutely LOVE your insight. This is a lesson that I have been really working on embracing. Failure of success, as you say, is another slightly different matter but will keep us in the doldrums of the plains aa well rather than attempting to summit a mountain as the possibility of success then propels us forward to keep up the same level of performance. I struggle with both these issues, fear of failure and success. Thank you so much for sharing your own struggles. I have to tell you that I finally submitted my work for judging in a professional print competition where images are judged not against others, but on their own merits. While my images did not “merit,” they still did much better than I expected. One among them was the image you used in your last blog. Out of six judges, at least two did give a “merit” score to that image. I, too, am learning to embrace failure as a learning experience to better my work.
Wonderful reminder, that often failure comes before success & it is all a learning process!
I agree with you completely, Nancy. Success is definitely a relative thing, and when we all have different goals and motives. Staying within one’s comfort zone is the best course of action for those who have met their personal goals. However, if one wishes to go beyond that, and fear is keeping that person confined to a comfort zone, then giving oneself permission to fail and push forward is a good thing. Thank you for your comment. It is always good for me to hear different perspectives. Yours is always valuable to me.
I feel moved to comment on those who achieve up to their comfort zone and discontinue taking risks. This may be the best course of action for some people. It depends upon their goals and motives. If money is the goal they may reach satisfaction. If a specific award is the goal, they may gain that. But if personal satisfaction doesn’t come that individual should continue to strive. In any case, I believe success is a relative thing and we must learn to recognize it when it comes.
Yes, I remember him saying that. He lived by it, too.
Right on !! My dad used to have little sayings expressing the same thought. “success comes in cans not can’ts” “there are 2 kinds of people in the world… those that say they can and those that say they can’t…. They’re both right.” Curt
We do have similar self talk. Still, there are times when I need to self talk more than once. 🙂
Such wisdom and truth in this post, Laurel. I saw the fear of failure as a teacher and have experienced it myself. If challenged, it can lead to success, if not it leads to thwarted lives. I enjoyed your self-talk ending with “Now get busy.” It is much like my self-command which I learned from my mom: “Janet, you know what you need to do, now do it.” As always, a thought-provoking post.
I am encouraged this is a good reminder for you, Jennifer. I understand the “other shoe.” I’ve waited for that, too.
Hi Laurel! Thank you for this! I’ve always been successful at pretty much anything I tried. Ironically, it made me paranoid: waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even through my successes, my fear of failure dragged me down. Thanks for this reminder that the only way to succeed is to risk failure. Onward and upward! (And downward sometimes!)
Jennifer