While attending a yearly conference of the National Writer’s Association where I was to receive an award, I found myself sitting across the table from a lovely, articulate woman—an attorney hoping to publish her first book.
We were enjoying the final dinner of the four-day conference and listening to the keynote speaker, a well-published author. He spoke on the importance of assistance from other writers through his journey to publication. When he finished, the attorney leaned across the table and told me that she had never come across a kinder, more mutually available group of people. “Everyone had been so anxious to help,” she said. “It has been a wonderful experience.”
“Aren’t attorneys at legal conferences also supportive?” I asked.
She explained that, in her opinion, professionals who attend legal conferences act as if everything is a zero-sum gain. “If one wins, another loses. It can be quite competitive.”
Her statement did not entirely surprise me as I have observed similar situations. I have worked in many environments, owned a business and attended corporate conferences. Outside of my family and personal friends, I feel more welcomed and supported with fellow authors than any other group. Even the most successful authors make themselves available to me with advice as I attempt to reach my goals. I also make myself accessible to others.
After listening to my tablemate’s opinion, I considered my writing groups and their importance. Several things came to mind. First, in critiques, workshops and writing organizations, it’s always about the writing—not the person. Second, when we critique each other’s work, no one comments on the appropriateness of the piece, gives his or her opinion about the content of the work or takes aim at another’s vulnerability. We know that most writers are private people, and publishing is often a terrifying exercise in self-exposure.
When in critique, each of my writing colleagues makes every effort to help the others hone their work; we constantly learn from each other. When one of us finishes a manuscript, gets published or receives some accolade, we all celebrate. In the process, we learn much about each other and bond as friends.
I am lucky to have many supportive personal friends who are not writers. I don’t know what I would do without them as they have shepherded me through tough spots. My life and I are richer because of them.
I also consider myself fortunate because of fellow authors who befriend me and help me on my journey to publication. I recognize my writing friends as essential to the balance between being with others and the considerable alone time that creativity requires. Like in the case of the keynote speaker, I know my work and life are richer because of bonds formed with and help received from other writers.
Jody, with careful editing and ten beta readers, you certainly did due diligence. Yes, receiving an ERRATA list post publication does seem to me to be a mean-spirited action, and I certainly understand why it would be upsetting–even more so because it comes from a relative. It is neither useful nor honoring of the writer. And, no, I don’t think you are too thin skinned. I’m sorry that happened to you. Have others had a similar experience?
As usual, Laurel, you give an expanded view of something quite ordinary and taken for granted. I love the way you frame criticism as useful and genuinely honoring the writer. I recently experienced something rather the opposite and wonder if I simply have thinner skin than others. A relative sent me a long list of ERRATA on a book I’d had just published. It was carefully edited before the publication, and I had used ten beta readers to have it critiqued from various viewpoints. I was stunned and didn’t know what to say, as saying “thanks” seemed ingenuous. I know there are always some errors that miss even the most discerning eye, but to be hit with that first seemed quite mean-spirited. Any thoughts from others. Jody Glittenberg
So nice to hear about the support that writers give to each other. What a wonder group of people. The world is definitely blessed by writers & their creativity. Writers add so much to my world. I am very grateful for all writers & all creative people willing to share their gifts & their vulnerability.
Barb, we miss your wonderful poetry contributions at Colorado Poetry Society. I miss you and wish you were here. Don’t forget about our Open Contests. They might help you feel connected until you find a group where you live.
Thank you Carol. I, too, love the Colorado Authors’ League. The League so anxious to help, and I, too, have benefited from their programs and individual support.
I can’t tell you how much I miss the poetry group in Colorado! Every time I write a poem, I miss the stimulation of being in a group, feeding off of each others’ creativity and benefiting from a plethora of insights. I have found nothing like it since I moved. I will be so much more productive when I can join a group again!
Thanks for this uplifting post, Laurel. My experience is similar with other writers in Colorado Authors’ League and with my “writing buddy.” I recently attended a day-long workshop which helped me immensely with my current project, and I feel thankful for these valuable contacts. I appreciate your work!
Janet, I benefited a great deal from workshops. At one workshop, I met people who wanted to form an online critique/editing group. That met a need I had at the time and perhaps would be a good solution for you. I’ve been to the Steamboat Springs conference held by their Art Council. I don’t know if that is the one you are speaking of, but I enjoyed it a great deal. Arrived for the program before the conference, which allowed me the opportunity to meet others. Good luck in your search. As for the recognition, it was several years ago and it was for poetry.
This is lovely, Laurel, and touches on a struggle I have: I can’t find a writing group in the small, rural community where I live other than a wonderful poetry group I meet with monthly and a friend I get together with once or twice a month, also about poetry. I enjoy and grow in these relationships, but I need a group that writes memoir and/or fiction as well because that’s where my interests lie. Lacking that, do you think I would benefit from traveling to workshops and conferences? I just discovered there is a conference in Steamboat Springs every summer. Maybe I should start there. Thanks, Laurel, as you can tell, your topic went right to my dilemma. Also, what award did you win? Congratulations!