It occurred to me this morning that as I begin the publishing process on my new children’s book, Weaver Pond Stories, I have been telling myself (and everyone in earshot) how much I hate marketing. I know that equal parts of fear and the need for personal privacy mixed together are at the bottom of this self-talk. Mind you, I’ve done some successful marketing for both my husband’s and my music store and my poetry book, In the Heart of a Quiet Garden. But this morning I realized that what I’ve been telling myself about marketing could stop me from moving forward successfully.
In reality, I actually enjoyed the marketing I’ve done in the past—though at first it made me nervous. The success I had in this area gave me confidence. So, why do I tell myself that I hate it? One reason might be that I hear it all the time from my fellow authors. (Perhaps I just want to be part of the group? 🙂 Or perhaps their attitudes are just rubbing off on me.) But the fact is that I’m just as anxious and fearful when I begin a new writing project—and I love to write! It is perfectly normal to have questions when you do anything for the first time: Can I do it? Do I have the talent? The time? The stamina? Will I fall on my face? Most authors deal with the same questions. But I can’t let the questions stop me.
So what do I do about this new self-realization? First and foremost, I need to present myself authentically: I don’t hate marketing. My experience is not sufficient to make that decision. An authentic statement might be: I have enjoyed and been fairly successful at marketing in the past, but I am still a bit anxious as I begin this new and bigger project
Second, garnering the support of others whenever I begin a new segment of a project increases confidence. I recently did that, consulting with those who have wide experience in marketing and listening to advice as they try to guide me away from pitfalls and toward tested, reliable processes. Early on, writers find out that being a successful author requires a community of helpers—from professional organizations, critique groups and readers, editors and publishers to marketing support. No one does it alone!
Third, I need to think only of the next decision. Dwelling on a complete project and how it will begin and end is too much. What is necessary is to put one foot in front of the other—one step at a time. Besides, anyone who has been a project manager knows that a flexible decision process is important if one is to deal with unexpected situations that always arise. It is impossible to anticipate every step, and the attempt to do so can paralyze the process.
The result of this morning’s awakening should be to change my self-talk, to enlist the help of others and to remember to proceed by putting one foot in front of the other as I move into the marketing phase of Weaver Pond Stories. I must remember that if I repeat something negative over and over, I will come to believe it—and make it true. However, the same is true of positive, authentic statements.
As a result of this awakening, I know that I will become the writer I tell myself I am—only now it will be an authentic, positive message. Going forward, I plan to keep that in mind.
If my blog has been helpful, I am delighted. It also helps me to write about these observations as the process of writing it out enables me to overcome. Thank you all for your comments.
As usual, your thoughts are valid for all of us. We get so tied down in our fears, we make our passion for writing a burden. Certainly it is not. We shouldn’t be afraid to muster courage and forge ahead. Everything is a challenge and a learning experience. And often it’s actually fun and the rewards are great.
Your message is all too true. I’ve been guilty of saying I hate marketing, yet I have come to enjoy giving talks about Not to be Forgiven. I think the reason many of us dislike marketing is the time it is necessary to devote to it. But if we are to succeed in today’s market, it is necessary to devote whatever time is needed. No one else is going to do it for you. Three cheers for your positive attitude,
and best of luck with Weaver Pond Stories!
I, too have struggled with marketing my book. While I find I enjoy doing book readings, approaching others about buying my book or placing it in their stores is very difficult for me. I read this post more than once and intend to start putting some of your ideas into practice. Thank you. And good luck with Weaver Pond Stories. It is a wonderful title.
Damon, I didn’t know there was an engineering name for this. Thanks for the info. And, thank all of you who commented for the appreciated encouragement.
Getting stuck is a problem in most contexts. In this one, you are talking about the tension between the desire to start a new project and the disdain of the marketing that happens at the end of the project. Getting unstuck often seems to require objectivity that’s difficult to find without consulting others. You seem to have done it this morning. That’s impressive.
I particularly like this sentence:
“It is impossible to anticipate every step, and the attempt to do so can paralyze the process.”
…engineers call this “paralysis by analysis”.
You are right on so many points. Self doubt is the killer of all dreams. And we do need a team of helpers to reach our goals. We need to take on a project one step at a time to prevent overwhelm.
A wonderful and insightful post.
Thanks for this great reminder, Laurel, especially of the importance of assistance from others as well as the nature of self-talk. And congrats on the progress of your new project!
How true about so many things, such a great reminder that we do become what we tell ourselves! Several areas I will do some writing about in terms of my own self talk. Certainly a thought provoking blog.
You’ll do fine – you have something you can recommend honestly, and that makes marketing just communication.
Thanks for your insights. It’s difficult to stay positive about one’s chosen vocation when a slew of negative experiences have occurred. It gives one pause to think and reevaluate. Maybe I have made a mistake by choosing this path. Maybe the talent I thought I had really doesn’t exist. I know this is precisely the kind of negative self-talk you address above. However, when success has seemingly been intermittent one does have to reconsider where she is headed. I am glad to hear that you are moving into the publication phase on your new book. I wish you the best. Stay positive and focused my friend!