Infinity Park

A recent dream gave me insight into my feelings of uncertainty as my husband and I near our retirement with questions about sufficient savings, Medicare changes and Social Security.

In my dream, I was standing next to two large pillars supporting an arch with the name “Infinity Park” in wrought iron script across the top.  One would think, by the name, this park to be unending—or that one was trapped in it, like in the Eagles song, “Hotel California,” where you can check out, but you can never leave.

I could view the outline of a few large, nearby trees with leaves that moved with a fresh breeze. Thick, green grass cushioned my feet and I knew, intuitively, that the park was beautiful.  I also immediately realized that Infinity Park was a place full of future choices.  I couldn’t see them because it was dark.

I was curious, wanting to view everything the park contained.   Wouldn’t it be great to see all my future options?  Wouldn’t I feel less vulnerable to the whims of life if I already knew my next choices and how they would work out?  Absolutely!

I woke up and my mind suddenly riveted on an experience I had while shopping for a baby shower gift.  I stood, overwhelmed, for 30 minutes in the baby bottle aisle of an infant store where an entire row was dedicated to scads of bottle styles, each claiming theirs the superior design.  I felt that if I didn’t choose the right bottle, this poor kid was doomed to terrible ramifications. I walked away because it was too hard to figure out which was best.  I have since read in psychological studies that too many choices tend to paralyze people.  I felt comforted (and less foolish) when I realized I was not alone in my indecisiveness.

Now I understand why, in my dream, I couldn’t see deep into Infinity Park.  It is in my best interest to find one choice at a time and either embrace or reject it before going on to the next.  If I were to see the park lit up, exposing all my future choices, I could not take another step forward.

Infinity Park held much to be explored, and I have a sense that the process will extend into my own infinity.   A happy, fulfilling retirement is meant to be lived one day and one choice at a time.  My dream about Infinity Park reminded me I could do so with confidence in my process and in the outcome.