Category: The Spiritual Path

It’s that time of year again.  Lots of decisions to make.  What gifts to purchase?  What to serve for Christmas dinner?  When to decorate the house? Where I am generally not a people pleaser, at Christmas I tend in that direction.  To keep myself balanced, every year I make a decision to find something I can do to please myself.

Christmas means different things to different people, some purely secular:  giving (and receiving) graciously, parties, helping those who have less, spending time with family and friends and remembering those loved ones who are now gone.  While remembering brings occasional sadness, it also generates gratitude for having had those people in my life in the first place.  I love Christmas glitz:  houses flooded in lights, presents under the trees—even artificial trees, Christmas music piped through store loudspeakers, motorized Santas waving to children in shopping carts who are exclaiming, “Mommy, look at all the toys!”  And while many complain about cranky shoppers, my experience is that people are friendlier at Christmas—willing to smile and give a “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” greeting.

I am a Christian, and for me Christmas has both a secular and a spiritual meaning.  I’ve often heard from pulpits that Christians celebrate the day that “Jesus came to earth to save us from our sins.”  This statement, though true, has never been my focus.  I don’t dwell much on sin–especially at Christmas.  There are those who might say I should. 🙂 It feels like a bit of a “Debbie Downer.”  Christmas is a time when I celebrate that God did not abandon me to this crazy world.  Rather, He sent Jesus to show me how loved and cared for I am and how to care for others.  Matthew 22:37-40 says, “Love the Lord your God with all you heart . . . soul . . . and mind,” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  I celebrate His lesson of love this time of year.

God’s Love is not all I celebrate.  I celebrate the purpose His coming gave my life.  I’m not an evangelical type; it is not my gift.  I knew that when I was twelve.  Our church/school instigated a door-to-door campaign to invite people to worship.  They wanted the school children to participate.  I declined to do so.  (Not a popular decision.)   I told God (yes “told”) if he wanted me to speak His message, He would have to bring the listener to me.  I wasn’t chasing after anybody!  Funny thing is, there have been many over the years who asked me questions regarding my faith (and presented the opportunity to speak). I know my purpose is to fulfill His will for my life, to do His work as a small cog in a big wheel, to be a good wife and mother, to use the gifts He has granted me—hopefully, one of those being a writer—in responsible ways.

I celebrate the family I have.  I celebrate the opportunity to give and receive–and to remember those who have less.  I celebrate “glitz.”  I celebrate His coming—that He did not abandon me here, which means so much to this abandoned child.  I celebrate that God is love—and He wants me to know it.  And I celebrate His purpose in my living.  That is a great deal of celebrating, and I am grateful for yet another opportunity to do so.

A recent dream gave me insight into my feelings of uncertainty as my husband and I near our retirement with questions about sufficient savings, Medicare changes and Social Security.

In my dream, I was standing next to two large pillars supporting an arch with the name “Infinity Park” in wrought iron script across the top.  One would think, by the name, this park to be unending—or that one was trapped in it, like in the Eagles song, “Hotel California,” where you can check out, but you can never leave.

I could view the outline of a few large, nearby trees with leaves that moved with a fresh breeze. Thick, green grass cushioned my feet and I knew, intuitively, that the park was beautiful.  I also immediately realized that Infinity Park was a place full of future choices.  I couldn’t see them because it was dark.

I was curious, wanting to view everything the park contained.   Wouldn’t it be great to see all my future options?  Wouldn’t I feel less vulnerable to the whims of life if I already knew my next choices and how they would work out?  Absolutely!

I woke up and my mind suddenly riveted on an experience I had while shopping for a baby shower gift.  I stood, overwhelmed, for 30 minutes in the baby bottle aisle of an infant store where an entire row was dedicated to scads of bottle styles, each claiming theirs the superior design.  I felt that if I didn’t choose the right bottle, this poor kid was doomed to terrible ramifications. I walked away because it was too hard to figure out which was best.  I have since read in psychological studies that too many choices tend to paralyze people.  I felt comforted (and less foolish) when I realized I was not alone in my indecisiveness.

Now I understand why, in my dream, I couldn’t see deep into Infinity Park.  It is in my best interest to find one choice at a time and either embrace or reject it before going on to the next.  If I were to see the park lit up, exposing all my future choices, I could not take another step forward.

Infinity Park held much to be explored, and I have a sense that the process will extend into my own infinity.   A happy, fulfilling retirement is meant to be lived one day and one choice at a time.  My dream about Infinity Park reminded me I could do so with confidence in my process and in the outcome.